How do I fail with purpose?

One of my earliest memories that I have of failing is when I was learning to ride my bike. I was so afraid of falling that I ended up not braking in time, slammed into a curb and fell on the grass face first.

Failing is such an ugly word.

The word itself has such a negative connotation.

I have slowly learned throughout the years that failing is just a part of life, it makes you the person that you are today.

In school, I remember my first time ever failing a test in Geometry and thinking that it was the end of the world. I even tried to hide my progress report from my parents

I think the worst I have ever felt about failing was my sophomore year of high school. My school had implemented a testing system in which you had to pass all history tests in the semester in order to graduate. If you failed one test, you were done.

I was very stressed out at the time and I ended up getting the answers to one of the tests from a friend. What I did not know, is that the same answers were being circulated to almost every other sophomore in class. I used the answers, as almost everyone else did, and got caught cheating.

I remember feeling the lowest of low, feeling as if I let everyone down. They called my parents and said that I would have to take the test over again in a room with just the teacher,  I remember feeling like a criminal. I passed with an A the second time around, but I think the biggest accomplishment that year, I learned I would never cheat again.

Failing happens so many times, but here I am, my world has not ended.

Failing with purpose is when you know that you might fail at an objective but you go for it anyway. You do not let fear take you, you set a goal and attempt at achieving it and gain something in return.

Recently a new position opened up at work. I have only been with the company for a year and I knew that I was going to be up against people that had more experience. I was afraid to show my interest in the position because I knew that there was a big chance that I was not going to get it.

I decided then and there that even if I did fail, I was going to go through the experience and process of applying internally.

I submitted my resume, practiced my presentation, studied my equipment and awaited the day I had to present.

When I was done I thought I did amazing. I was so happy that I had practiced for so many days and I felt like all my efforts had paid off. I knew in my head that I had this position, I knew that I had done everything in my power to achieve this goal.

I didn’t.

I was up against 6 other people.

As I sat in the room with the managers telling me that they loved my presentation but they decided to go with other people all I could think of was, what did I do wrong?  I thanked them for the opportunity to show them what I had to offer and asked them to consider me for other like positions in the future.

I failed.

As I sit here, almost 8 hours after I heard the news I now see that I failed for a reason. I failed in order to become better, in order to want it more, to need it more, and to appreciate it more once it is mine.

I will let this experience along with all my other experiences become the part of me that perseveres.

I will not give up, and I will continue to fail with purpose.

 

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